Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Whatever Wednesday

Okay I am going to try to make this one quick, hence the name quick hits. I know that all the people that are following my blog are women and believe me I am sensitive to that, but I just have to talk about John and Kate plus 8.

I have been hearing a lot about this in media over the past week or so. Am I the only one on earth that has actually watched this show? It is no effin surprise to me that John cheated. KATE IS A FRIGGIN BITCH. All I hear is "they seemed like they were such a happy couple," and I just don't think these people are paying attention to what is actually happening on the show. When Kate isn't treating him like he is the 9th edition to their harem of children; she is incessantly bitching at him.

Okay I know I am going to get some posts about how I am an insensitive bastard and she has 8 children which is enough for anyone to be a bitch. My only rebuttal about this is that she is a bitch even when their kids aren't around. On one episode that my wife made me watch Kate made John go get his teeth whitened for his "Daddy's day." Do you know how I know she made him do this? How many effin men do you know that get some free time and think I am going to get my teeth whitened? Not many, if you know any.
(Here is a little peak in the mind of a man when he gets some free time). WOO HOO I have a free day all to myself. What am I going to do with my day? I think I am going to start by drinking myself into an unknown state of coolness at (insert random bar name here). Then after I close that bar down I am going to find a group of people that are having an after-party and I am going to show them how to party. I may even snort some coke off a hooker’s ass tonight. (Here is what actually happens that day). We call our best friend who gets us into trouble a lot, and we go and play golf with that person until 4:30 during which time we kill a 6-pack together. After walking six miles around a golf course and being half drunk, because we just don't put them away like we used to anymore. We are tired but still ready to go, because we are excited about our free day. Hungry from our tiring day on the golf course we decide to grab a bite and a beer at “Fridays”. After a huge meal, that will inevitably keep us awake that night, and a few more beers (5 total now) we are starting to wear down. After making excuses to each other about how we have something to take care of at home, we drag our sorry drunk tired asses to the house so that our wives can make us feel guilty about something, or a bunch of things, that didn’t get done because we took advantage of a “free day”. Later that night we regret the decision to go spicy with our food choice at Fridays and the next 3 days we regret the decision to have that 5th beer. So since John opted to go for the teeth whitening instead of this obviously better option one can only assume that it was motivated by his super bitchy wife, who just couldn’t wait till after he got home from Fridays.



  1. see you post prove I'm not a bitch. I would never MAKE you get your teeth whitened.

  2. ROFLMAO!!!! OMG!! That is HILARIOUS!!! And it must make you feel VERY thankful for Brandy, huh?
    Keep 'em comin'!

  3. Chris, you are a natural blogger! Too funny! You know that I agree with you about her being a bitch and I can honestly say that because I know I am one too, but she's just over the top.

  4. All I can say is that Brandy has met her match when it comes to blogging. Kimberly is right, you are a natural and you crack me up!

    All I can say about Jon and Kate is that they are both crazy for having all those kids!

  5. Thank you all I am awesome and please tell your friends!!!