Tiny Tuesday

Here we go again:

-Did you know that if you loose a fight with a midget you become one? It is true, kinda like if you catch a leprechaun you get to keep his pot of gold.

-If you hit a midget on top of the head he will shatter into 50 gold coins.

-It is undetermined which one but there is a mushroom in existance that will make a midget grow to full size. This idea was brought to the attention of the public for the first time by a video game, Super Mario Bros.

-Do you know why midgets giggle as they run through grass? It tickles their balls.

-If you drop a midget in water they don't make a splash they make a bloop!

-I tried to post more midget jokes for you guys but I just couldn't keep them short!

-Look at this. You would think they would find this offensive. Midgets playing mini-golf, that is effin funny!

WTF Friday

My wife started a blog and she did a post called blog farts. I was inspired! So here we go with WTF Friday, all things that make me say WTF.

-I gave my wife her mothers day gift (she didn't like it) now I am the one responsible for returning it (WTF).

-So I am fat right, and I have been dieting. I would say that I am fairly addicted to food, so I think from now on they should make heroin addicts have a small amount of heroin a day and then tell them that they shouldn't over indulge in heroin.

-I can't believe that we don't worship midgets.

-Why do I feel obligated to tip at Sonic? It is effin fast food.

-Why do lesbians look like men? Seems like if they wanted to be with a man they would be with a man. That tells me that the penis is the portion that is putting them off. I understand though because they are really weird looking.

-People say money isn't everything. I say WTF. Maybe it isn't everything but it ranks right up there with air and water.

-I heard someone say the other day "I don't eat anything with a face." I told that person that I don't eat anything with a face either. It had better have been cut off before I will eat it.

-The Special Olympics, really, WTF? We should not pit the disabled against each other for our amusment.

-I watched Boondock Saints the other day (great movie by the way) but WTF. Willem Dafoe makes a horible woman.

-Micheal Moore, WTF? Why is he still alive? Out of all the busses in the world that hit people everyday, why can't we have one conveniently placed behind Micheal Moore?